It has been a long week! Drew woke up with a cold on Saturday morning, so we spent our weekend here at the house. Monday I took him back to the doctor...poor guy has had awful congestion. He was so congested on Tuesday and Wednesday that he didn't even eat much and that is rare for him! He seems to be a bit better today. Hal left on Tuesday for a trip to New Jersey. Drew and I pick him up in the morning....woo hoo!!!! That covers travel and sickness, now for the lesson.
Why is it that I have to be backed into a corner before I am truly desperate for the Lord? It seems I have an ongoing battle with pride. I have blogged before about how God keeps chipping away at my pride. This week, I am sore from all the work He has been doing! I don't know why I constantly find myself doing things in my own strength and not relying on the Lord's help. I think secretly I am pretty proud of myself for being able to handle things (at least I think I am handling things on my own.) For me, there has been nothing like motherhood to show me that I am absolutely dependent on God. This week, I found myself desperate for Him. When I say desperate, I mean that I really didn't think I could go another second without him strengthening me. Please don't think Drew is an awful baby....this lesson was about me not about him. Poor guy was just plain sick this week. I hated being in the position where I couldn't fix it for him. He couldn't tell me what was wrong or how to make it better. He didn't want to sleep or eat which resulted in a lot of crying. I found myself in a place where my only option was to cry out to the Lord for His help. Hal was out of town. My mom couldn't just run over and help. It was me and God. Just the way He wanted it. I was truly humbled....crying out to Him for His grace and His help to get us through this place. Of course, God was gracious and came through. Not that things got easier(Drew is doing better, but I woke up with a cold this morning), but when I stopped relying on my own strength and let God help, the load wasn't quite so heavy. I want to live in that state of desperation every day. I want to live everyday with an awareness that nothing I do is in my own strength.
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